By Donna M Thomas
And if you could, would you?
I am going to give you a simple truth about judgment, of both yourself and others.
Ready? Here it goes.
Judgments = opinions that often engender resentment...and righteousness. Your judgment is an indicator that you have an issue to clear. The jerk who honks their horn at you even though it's their fault. The other jerk who takes the parking space that you were waiting so patiently for. The troubled parent who abandons their child. The sick person who opens fire in a public place.
• Let me take each of the examples above and shed some light on them: The horn honker and the parking space taker - Why do you care if they honk their horn? Why does it matter if they are wrong and you are right? Whatever buttons (issues) you have around being made wrong, or things being unfair, or having to be right, or not liking loud noises being directed at you, are being pushed, and this is why you care.
• The troubled parent and the sick person - Yes, child abandonment and acts of violence are awful in my book too, and I deeply feel for all involved every time I hear of such acts. But for anyone to do such a thing, they must be incredibly sick, pained and/or fearful, and they deserve compassion, too.
This exploration isn't suggesting we let anyone off the hook for acts of unkindness or violence. We're talking about how you can free yourself from judging others. Your judgments hurt only you-they fester, and can even cause you to implode and become sick. They don't (usually) affect anyone else.
Any time you have judgment, it is an indicator that you have something to heal within yourself. The great thing about this is that when you understand this, you have the opportunity to live a much more peaceful existence.
Why care about having a peaceful existence? Would you rather die a happy, fulfilled, and peaceful person, or die angry, bitter and resentful? The more you judge, the easier it becomes to do it again, and again. At some point you will find yourself unhappy, angry and pessimistic much of the time. Is this how you want to live? Is this how you want to die? I think not.
What about those who judge just a little, or every now and then? Given how short life is, do you really want to waste even a minute on anything but what brings you happiness and fulfillment?
And if you could, would you?
I am going to give you a simple truth about judgment, of both yourself and others.
Ready? Here it goes.
Judgments = opinions that often engender resentment...and righteousness. Your judgment is an indicator that you have an issue to clear. The jerk who honks their horn at you even though it's their fault. The other jerk who takes the parking space that you were waiting so patiently for. The troubled parent who abandons their child. The sick person who opens fire in a public place.
• Let me take each of the examples above and shed some light on them: The horn honker and the parking space taker - Why do you care if they honk their horn? Why does it matter if they are wrong and you are right? Whatever buttons (issues) you have around being made wrong, or things being unfair, or having to be right, or not liking loud noises being directed at you, are being pushed, and this is why you care.
• The troubled parent and the sick person - Yes, child abandonment and acts of violence are awful in my book too, and I deeply feel for all involved every time I hear of such acts. But for anyone to do such a thing, they must be incredibly sick, pained and/or fearful, and they deserve compassion, too.
This exploration isn't suggesting we let anyone off the hook for acts of unkindness or violence. We're talking about how you can free yourself from judging others. Your judgments hurt only you-they fester, and can even cause you to implode and become sick. They don't (usually) affect anyone else.
Any time you have judgment, it is an indicator that you have something to heal within yourself. The great thing about this is that when you understand this, you have the opportunity to live a much more peaceful existence.
Why care about having a peaceful existence? Would you rather die a happy, fulfilled, and peaceful person, or die angry, bitter and resentful? The more you judge, the easier it becomes to do it again, and again. At some point you will find yourself unhappy, angry and pessimistic much of the time. Is this how you want to live? Is this how you want to die? I think not.
What about those who judge just a little, or every now and then? Given how short life is, do you really want to waste even a minute on anything but what brings you happiness and fulfillment?
Donna M. Thomas gives you access to deep insights into Loving, Living, Growing at her inspiring and insightful blog site, Pebbles For Thought http://donna-thomas.com/blog/. Get the introduction and first four chapters of her upcoming book, From Pebbles To Pathways: A Journey of Healing the Heart and Surrendering to Love for FREE. Just sign in at her blog site, http://donna-thomas.com/blog/ and register. Your chapters will be emailed to you directly.
am going too retweet this so i can read it when i get home like it and for me it is timely, think for posting it.
ReplyDeleteTimely message. I've just started working on this 'judgement thing'. :)
ReplyDeleteWell it is something that we all should work on , cause we don't know how much we haven't got the right to judge other considering how much we don't know about about others good luck for you guys. if anything you would like to talk about or need some help with let me know , i would really love to
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with judgements being "an indicator that you have something to heal within yourself" - so true. We are all mirrors and, once we realize the 'broken part' within ourselves - what a gift is it to have an opportunity for healing.
ReplyDeleteA sudden realization for me was when I saw a man from my car walking down the street littering. And then I realized I couldn't change anything anyway. I decided it was better to be a witness to the world than a judge.
ReplyDelete