Are Your Friends Bringing You Down?

By Dean R Black 

Hello Everyone, I hope you are doing well.

Let's chat about the people you surround yourself with. If you want to be successful and you are surrounding yourself with successful people then that will help you achieve what it is you are striving for.

If you are working on being successful and you hang out with people who are not interested in rising any higher than they are right now then that will be a negative influence on you.

Look at what you are saying about what you want and then look at what you actually do. When you tell yourself that you want to be successful and you say all the right things then that is great, but are you actually doing the things that will help you become successful. If you want success and you hang out with unsuccessful people then what you are doing to yourself is damaging to your psyche.

This is harming you because what you are saying is in conflict with what you are actually doing. Everyone we surround ourselves with has an influence on us. This works both ways, both positive and negative.
When we surround ourselves with successful people the positive influences they have rub off on us, we can not help but absorb their traits and habits into our own.

When you surround yourself with negative people then the same rules apply except in the negative. We absorb the negative aspects of their traits and habits.

The reason this happens is because your mind is like a sponge, it sucks up everything it sees and hears. So if you are exposing yourself to negative influences then that is what will get into your head. If you expose yourself to positive people then that is what will soak into your mind. So much of this works through your unconscious that you do not even notice it until it is to late. Then you have to work hard to undo the damage.

Once the damage is done then the work you have to do to even get the negative influences out of your life is hard enough. Then you have to get started on putting the positive influences into your head.

The first thing for you to do is to identify the negative influences and start getting them out of your life. At the same time start surrounding yourself with positive influences from successful people. There are many inspirational books, websites, podcasts and videos out there so it is only a matter of searching for it on the internet and you are sure to find something that works for you.

I hope that was helpful.
Thank you for tuning in.

To Your Success,

Dean R Black

Dean R Black 2011.Father of 3 and husband who loves his wife and kids more than anything. Self Employed, love philosophy, psychology. Network Marketing is the future of marketing and it is here right now. I love it.
http://www.deanrblack.com
http://www.workwithdeanrblack.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dean_R_Black

What to Do When You Feel Inferior ?

By Susan Leigh 

There are times when we all feel inferior. Remember the horror of dropping the ball on school sports day, or coming out with a silly answer in class? The embarrassment of these experiences can stay with us and cause us to worry or fret about something similar happening again.

The truth is, those other people quickly forgot about our shame. They were probably far too concerned with catching the ball when it was their turn, or making the right answer to their own question.

Feeling inferior can to some extent motivate us to improve. It causes stress that can prompt us to address the reasons behind why we feel that way. Problems can start to occur if those feelings become a more resistant pattern and way of thinking.

Let's look at things that can help:
- Remind yourself of all your success, the driving test you passed, the swimming badge you achieved, the fact that you are a good cook, gardener, friend. Start to write down three successes everyday in a notebook. Put the date at the top of each page and compile a log of the times when someone says 'thank you', or 'that was great'. It can become all too easy to only notice the negatives and those times can be blown out of proportion; like the time when someone ignores us - they may be preoccupied; or doesn't return our call - they may be busy or have simply forgotten. A record of each day's successes provides something you can refer back to whenever you feel a little down.

- Believe in yourself. Remind yourself that you are intrinsically a good person, have a lot to offer and are unique and special. Everyone struggles at times with confidence and self belief. I am still amazed at the number of attractive, successful people I see for therapy who feel bad about themselves. Relax and know that you are not alone in your concerns.

- Believe in others. If someone has hired you, invited you along, then trust that they have done it because they want you. Trust that they have seen something in you that they value, appreciate, want to be more associated with. Remind yourself that they picked you.

- Identify things that you are good at, that you enjoy. We are often good at the things we enjoy and relish participating rather than just the end result. Feeling relaxed and confident can come easily at these times. Enjoying handicrafts, sport, amateur dramatics, can be fulfilling. Focus on making those interests more a part of your life.

- Make a friend. It can be daunting to try to join a group. Often members of a group are preoccupied with each other and too busy to notice someone new. So notice the quiet person who stands to one side. Suggest going for a coffee, or something relatively low-key. Find out what that person's interests are. It may be opportune to suggest a film or a lunch sometime. Enjoy slowly establishing an acquaintanceship that can gradually become a friendship.

- Watch others, copy good behaviour. Children learn by standing to the side and watching the dynamics in the playground. Pay attention to what works in other people's interactions. Learn from how you like to be treated, what makes you feel good and emulate that in your dealings with others.

- Get help. Counselling and hypnotherapy are a valuable commitment of your time that will help to improve your fears and lack of confidence. This type of help can provide positive solutions to those problem areas.

Life experiences can sometimes cause our confidence to be shaken. This can result in us feeling that other people are better, more confident and successful than we are. Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with clients to help them heal their negative outlook, learn from their life experiences and become more positive and strengthened as a consequence.

There is help, advice and further articles available.
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Can You Stop Your Judgment of Others?

 By Donna M Thomas

And if you could, would you?

I am going to give you a simple truth about judgment, of both yourself and others.

Ready? Here it goes.

Judgments = opinions that often engender resentment...and righteousness. Your judgment is an indicator that you have an issue to clear. The jerk who honks their horn at you even though it's their fault. The other jerk who takes the parking space that you were waiting so patiently for. The troubled parent who abandons their child. The sick person who opens fire in a public place.

• Let me take each of the examples above and shed some light on them: The horn honker and the parking space taker - Why do you care if they honk their horn? Why does it matter if they are wrong and you are right? Whatever buttons (issues) you have around being made wrong, or things being unfair, or having to be right, or not liking loud noises being directed at you, are being pushed, and this is why you care.

• The troubled parent and the sick person - Yes, child abandonment and acts of violence are awful in my book too, and I deeply feel for all involved every time I hear of such acts. But for anyone to do such a thing, they must be incredibly sick, pained and/or fearful, and they deserve compassion, too.

This exploration isn't suggesting we let anyone off the hook for acts of unkindness or violence. We're talking about how you can free yourself from judging others. Your judgments hurt only you-they fester, and can even cause you to implode and become sick. They don't (usually) affect anyone else.

Any time you have judgment, it is an indicator that you have something to heal within yourself. The great thing about this is that when you understand this, you have the opportunity to live a much more peaceful existence.
Why care about having a peaceful existence? Would you rather die a happy, fulfilled, and peaceful person, or die angry, bitter and resentful? The more you judge, the easier it becomes to do it again, and again. At some point you will find yourself unhappy, angry and pessimistic much of the time. Is this how you want to live? Is this how you want to die? I think not.

What about those who judge just a little, or every now and then? Given how short life is, do you really want to waste even a minute on anything but what brings you happiness and fulfillment?

Donna M. Thomas gives you access to deep insights into Loving, Living, Growing at her inspiring and insightful blog site, Pebbles For Thought http://donna-thomas.com/blog/. Get the introduction and first four chapters of her upcoming book, From Pebbles To Pathways: A Journey of Healing the Heart and Surrendering to Love for FREE. Just sign in at her blog site, http://donna-thomas.com/blog/ and register. Your chapters will be emailed to you directly.